the real kwon (bookelfe) wrote,
the real kwon
bookelfe

SCENE: innerbrat and rushin_doll 's apartment, living room, evening
PLAYING: the television

DEBI: Hah, I see, that character is the Tallulah!
BECCA: . . . what?
DEBI: You know, like from Bugsy Malone.
BECCA: . . . what?
DEBI and ANA, IN HORRIFIED UNISON: You've never seen Bugsy Malone?!?!
BECCA: . . . what?
ANA: It's a musical! About gangsters! They all have funny moustaches! It's made for you!
DEBI: Also, there aren't any cast members over the age of fourteen!
BECCA: . . . what?


Needless to say, I have now seen Bugsy Malone, and have upgraded my '. . . what?' to an 'oh my god, WHAT?'

Bugsy Malone is indeed a musical about gangsters. To be specific, it is a musical about a brutal gang war.



Except instead of real guns, all the gangsters wield 'splurge guns', which shoot out cream. I am not making this up. NOR AM I COMMENTING. Simply presenting you with the facts.



A splurge-shot gangster goes catatonic and then disappears, though, so the principle is probably not actually all that different. Also, all the gangsters are indeed played by kids aged 10-14. Occasionally wearing false moustaches.





They built the whole set to scale - tiny shops, tiny pedal-cars. Tiny ponies! I have to admit it's impressive.

The only things not child-sized are . . . the singing voices. Because SOMEONE thought it would be a brilliant plan to travel around the country, recording all the songs AS SUNG BY ADULTS, and then have the kids lip-sync them. The result is . . . well.



This is Our Hero, charming and dashing ladies' man Bugsy Malone, attempting to convince a bunch of broke soup-kitcheneers to join him in a gangster raid. No one noticed that it might be A LITTLE STRANGE to a.) have a manly voice coming out of prepubescent Scott Baio, and b.) have Scott Baio occasionally shout lines of dialogue in the middle of the song IN HIS OWN VOICE.

Also kind of disturbing are the tiny preteen showgirls, led by baby Jodie Foster, who does a pretty good job of playing a femme fatale gangster moll considering that she was about thirteen at the time.



In her signature number, she does her very best to vamp her way through a room full of children in moustaches sipping milkshakes, singing about how no one will ever treat you finer, and just . . . I'M SO CONFUSED.



Here, she is attempting to seduce Scott Baio away from his love interest. Eventually she scandalously kisses him on the forehead.

Sidenote: aside from launching Scott Baio's career and confirming Jodie Foster as a talented and yet confusing actress, by the way, this film also marked the first onscreen appearance of one Dexter Fletcher, aka 'Babyface.'



I . . . I just . . . I have no room to talk, I know. I mean, I love Newsies. I am a wholehearted supporter of ridiculous fake moustaches and of terrible child-actor dancing in musicals. And yet . . . there are SO MANY CHOICES HERE I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
Tags: bugsy malone, musicals, wtf
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    Last night I went to Zoolights with genarti and jinian. This is an recurring holiday season event during which a local zoo gets itself…

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