the real kwon (bookelfe) wrote,
the real kwon

Last night I went to Zoolights with [personal profile] genarti and [personal profile] jinian. This is an recurring holiday season event during which a local zoo gets itself gussied up in the evenings, drapes lights all over everything, serves overpriced vaguely festive fair food, and lets you check out the nocturnal animals and have photo opportunities with reindeer.

The animals were excellent, the reindeer also so, and the hot apple cider as tasty and overpriced as one would expect. Eventually, we ran out of nocturnal animals to bother and wandered into the region marked "Lights and Sights!"

Well, there were absolutely lights, and there were also ... certainly sights ...

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This horrified reindeer is one of the first things you see on entering "Lights and Sights!" It's a pretty good approximation of our faces as we traversed the exhibits.

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This is our collective favorite exhibit, a whirling ice-skating hellscape in which a collection of assorted Barbie dolls rotate in solitary peril, bathed in demonic red light. Please note that about half of them are at a 45-degree angle to the ground and look like they're about to bash their head into the side of the ice skating rink. Please also note that a significant percentage are trying to ice skate in PENCIL SKIRTS.

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Wizard of Oz Christmas? OK, sure, but the placement of the Tin Man's can of (shiny? red???) lubricant in this exhibit should .... perhaps be reconsidered ....

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We decided not to ride on the Donnie Darko carousel.

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(Me: "Who are the heads?" [personal profile] jinian: "Eh, minstrels that displeased the king, probably.")

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At first glance, this scene seems cute! Until you notice that the adult bears are eyeing each other and the Christmas tree with a distinctly nervous attitude. This may be because

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Santa's head is hanging on the wall? This bear family killed Santa???

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Speaking of Santa: "Santa's been trapped here for YEARS," said [personal profile] genarti, when she called me over to this particular exhibit. "The elves get older and older, but he just ... stays the same ....?"

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To complete the pantheon of Santa-related horror, Zombie Santa watches us all from above.

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He's always watching. And always waiting.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, CHRISTIAN FRIENDS. I'll be over here, with the gambling and fried foods.

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Tags: rl, wtf

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